Every year, the girls birthday is an emotional day for me.
There is not a moment in my life that I forget the miracle of their birth and health, but on this day in particular, my mind is flooded by precious moments that I re-live time, and time again.
My past, and my future, have been changed forever by their story...our story.
I was asked to give my faith story at our church this summer.
The story of how I was brought to my knees by their birth. But, to understand the full story...you've got to hear it from the beginning.
Here is my faith story:
My faith story begins at Covenant Pines Bible Camp at the age of 7.
I accepted Jesus’ forgiveness and love on an August day and from that moment on I knew I was loved by my King, from the very top of my neon scrunchie right down to my jelly shoes. I also had the idea that if I believed in him, and prayed hard enough, he would bless me with wonderful things and an easy life.
I prayed hard—and he answered! I went through my young life praying, “Please Lord, help me do well on my Algebra test”—and I would!
“Please Lord, help my parents to see that it is really important for me not to have to drive my great aunt’s rusty, maroon Oldsmobile to high school,”and what do you know, that jalopy of a car broke down!! Thank you Lord!
As I got a little older, I asked God to help me find an amazing man to marry. In a short time, I met Peter. Again, a prayer answered!
A few years after Peter and I were married, we were ready to start a family—and so I prayed……no baby.
Maybe I wasn’t praying hard enough. I prayed some more. Still no baby. Hmmm… this IS a pretty big request. Maybe I need others praying for me. I asked friends and family to pray. I begged. I pleaded. I tried to reason with God, “Lord, we would be such great parents!” Still no baby.
I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility. I pled and wept and begged and waited with clouds of darkness surrounding me. I continued praying, but began to realize that maybe life isn’t really under my control. After months of treatment, we finally heard the words we had prayed with such desperation to hear—“You are pregnant!”
Our ultrasound was scheduled for June 19th, and at 1:58 p.m. on that day (yes, I remember the exact minute!), my life changed forever. We walked into the dark ultrasound room, and I was so excited to see what God had created in me. I heard the doctor say, “Okay, there is baby A.” Oh, yay! There is a baby!!! We are going to be parents! “And, there are twins”
“Okay God,” I said to myself, “I know lots of people with twins.”
Then the doctor quickly corrected me, “No, there is baby A and HERE are the twins—you’re having TRIPLETS!”
Shock does not accurately describe the way I felt in that moment. Tears filled my eyes. I am sure there was not a soul in that clinic who didn’t hear my hysterical cries. I found myself again in a place of great desperation and fear! “Lord, I asked for 1 remember!? I could have done 2, but 3???
Don't YOU know that there was a 1/100 chance of this happening?? It's not really supposed to happen! Don’t YOU know that it’s dangerous to have higher order multiples!?
Low birth weight, CP, blindness from prematurity…Don’t YOU know that statistics?
I can’t do this God. Why have you chosen me for this? I prayed, and you didn’t listen.”
In 30 weeks of pregnancy, including 14 weeks laying in a hospital bed, I learned many lessons. I learned that God is with us always. On many days, as I laid in bed, alone and as afraid as I had ever been, I felt the comfort of the Holy Spirit surround me. He gave me overwhelming peace. You are not alone.
Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
God taught me humility. I learned what the “body of Christ” can do for someone in need. Friends brought me food, shaved my legs, and even emptied my bedpan when I couldn’t do it myself.
God works miracles. When I was 21 weeks pregnant, I was admitted to labor and delivery for a multitude of complications and told I should choose names for my babies and start thinking about if I would like to have a naming ceremony for them-which is like a baptism for babies who have died. My chances of having even one live child were less than 25%.
But Job 9:10 says, “He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.” God answered my prayers! Though medically improbable, we have 3 happy, healthy 3 year olds in the nursery today.
The day my girls were born, God taught me the greatest lesson of all. I looked at my girls little 3 pound bodies and thought about how much I loved them. My heart was overflowing! God loves me even more than that! And because he loves me, his answer isn’t always yes. It might be no. It might be wait.
Our God is in control. He has a plan and He loves us more than we can imagine. His plan for my life has NOT been easy, but it HAS been more amazing than anything I could have dreamed of myself.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
3 years ago today, 3 tiny babies were born, nearly 3 months early.
In an instant, I became a mother-an experience that even from the beginning was magnificent and terrifying in the same breath.
As we sing happy birthday to our beautiful, healthy daughters, we will remember the gifts we've been given, we will rejoice for miracles, and thank God for countless prayers answered.
Happy Birthday baby girls!
